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Friday, December 10, 2010

My Outdoor Christmas letter to Santa

image credit MGSwarbs

This is my wish list to Santa for the Outdoor Blogger Network Outdoor Writing Prompt ~ All I want for Christmas…

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a super good boy this year and I was hoping you could do me a huge favor and give me everything I ask for It’s not like I’ve ever asked for much in the past. Being you’re an outdoor guy this year my list might be a bit bigger.

I know you’re going to give Kari over at I don’t Ware Pink Camo to the Woods a big lump of coal because of some past run ins with her and the stun gun. I just want to make sure you remember how good I’ve been this year so I don’t have to wash my stocking out like her. Here are just a few examples of how extremely good I’ve been the last year or two.

1. For the past two deer hunting seasons I haven’t shot any relatives of Rudolf

2. I helped a little old lady roof her house and got hurt doing it. OK So maybe it was an accident that I fell and cut my wrist (during deer hunting season) thus making shooting any of Rudolph’s relatives almost impossible.

3. I released all of the trout I caught on my trout fishing trip last fall. Well except for that one that swallowed the hook woops :)
4. I took Daffy (my dog) off that stupid diet dog food that just made her eat twice as much food.

5. Oh and my wife had another son this year so Daffy now has twice as much food to eat off of the floor.(I did have a small part in that)

6. I um keep the toilet lid down so Amber doesn’t fall in and the dog doesn’t drink out of it.

7. So I… um… do my best at… auh um….. I’m struggling here…. I got nothing.

Well Santa if that isn’t enough to keep my Christmas stocking from being stained black this year I’m not so sure I can do much else to convince you. Unless you take bribes?....... (See below)

If you stop by my house after you fly over all those crazy’s in Wisconsin who will undoubtedly have you flying through a barrage of bullets and make delivering all their presents of beer and cheese almost impossible. I can help you refuel with a nice thermos of coffee, a ham sandwich, chips, and some cookies. I will make sure to have more than enough carrots for the reindeer and fresh water as well. If there is anything else you may need please feel free to contact me at and I can be sure to have it available for you when you stop by and deliver my sweet presents.

Speaking of presents I know of one outdoorsy boy who has been almost perfect this year……

ME! So here is the list I expect full delivery when you stop by for coffee on Christmas Eve night.

1. A new turkey hunting vest why you might ask well, I’ve never had one before and I know it would make it much easier having all of my calls, bullets and other things nice and organized in a neat fashion. Making turkey hunting that much more enjoyable for me and my hunting partners.

2. A new Ice fishing pole I don’t need a reel I just broke the pole

3. A new ultra light fishing reel last fall  on my trout fishing trip I broke the one you got for me two years ago. I was an accident honest. I really didn’t mean to go over that jump on the ATV and jar the bungee cord loose, so when I drove by that tree the reel just happened to catch a tree branch and break. rrr wait the jump was fun but I still didn't want to make the bungee cord come loose.

4. A boat new or used I’m not too picky. I’m getting really sick of shore fishing and with the boys starting to get a little older. I need to get it so I can get some practice in before they are old enough to go out with me.

5. A .357 magnum the brand isn’t super important, but if you want to know I really like the TAURUS TRACKER MODEL 627 .357 MAG. REVOLVER or the MODEL 66 .357 MAG. REVOLVER

6. It would be really nice to get a 4wheeler of my own so I don’t always have to borrow my father-in-laws.

7. Oh a new snowmobile would be nice too; our other one is starting to get really old.

8. Last but certainly not least I need a nice new Ford pick up truck (with camo trim and seat covers) to tow all of my new toys.

Thanks Santa you’re the best. I can’t wait to see you this year and you can be assured I won’t be waiting with a stun gun like we won’t name, names here but a certain Wisconsin gal with pink camo. Don’t forget COFFEE, HAM, and COOKIES.

Ben G.


Anonymous said...

Dear Ben,
I sure hope that Santa brings you everything you want on your list. It's an awesome list and you've been super good this year so I don't think there's a reason for him not too! Plus all those tasty treats! If I was Santa I would stop there.

(Hey Santa if you're reading this you should definitely stop at Ben's house!)

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

(the girl who owns NO pink camo and never will!)

PS. Come Christmas Eve just ignore that blind set up in your back yard..... It's just a figment of your imagination....

Passinthru Outdoors said...

Great post Ben and I hope Santa gets your gifts delivered before Kari gets him. She kind of scares me too Santa. :)

Ben G. said...

Kari - Thanks I hope santa decides to stop by your house too. With all the snow we've gotten you might not even need a blind just did a hole in the snow.

Passinthru- Thanks me too! Yeah she can be kinda scary

r.b. wright said...

Enjoyed the post Ben

Hunt Like You're Hungry said...

Dear Ben,

Bribing Santa with ham, chips, and warm beverages is a stroke of genius. I've been plotting a similar plan as the jolly man may not know where I live since I moved. My man suggests I should leave whiskey, Doritos, and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. The list sounds eerily similar to his favorite foods. Hummmm.

Oh well! Merry Christmas! Be sure to check in and let us know how good Santa was to you!


Ben G. said...

HLYH- I like your list if Santa doesn't stop by I may have to put on a red suit and grab the whiskey. Any way you have a Merry Christmas as well.

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